Taking these actions helps us to separate ourselves from the disease of addiction. We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease. Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding.
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- When he handles a situation at work “the wrong way” I keep my opinion to myself.
- Similarly, making living amends means you completely change the way you live and remain committed to that lifestyle.
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Unlike apologies, they involve concrete actions to restore trust, right the wrongs we made and rebuild relationships as we demonstrate our changed behavior. Many people think of making amends as simply apologizing for whatever wrongs they did in their using, however an apology is not an amend. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it living amends meaning for drugs”.
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Thorough preparation ensures your actions align with your intentions and positively contribute to your recovery journey and the relationships you are trying to mend. Address harm caused or intended and take full responsibility for negative behavior. Be honest and outline the steps to be Halfway house taken for demonstrating that behavior is changing. Work to regain trust, but be sincere if you want your efforts to be taken seriously. With an understanding of the significance of making amends and its guiding principles, we can proceed to craft a personalized script. This script is your guide, providing a framework for acknowledging specific wrongdoings, articulating the harm caused, and outlining possible reparations or actions.
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When you make amends, you acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions that have hurt others. They take different forms, including direct amends, indirect amends, and living amends. When the person you owe reparations to has died, you can still make living amends by changing things about you and how you live your life. These changes can positively impact the people you love and care about. Engaging in the process of making amends can be a profoundly transformative experience for individuals in recovery.
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- Are you looking for guidance on writing an AA amends script that effectively guides you along what can sometimes lead to uncomfortable, sticky situations?
- Step Nine states that we make amends “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We don’t want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress.
- Firstly, it allows the person in recovery to separate themselves from the disease of addiction, recognizing that their past actions were not a reflection of their actual values and character.
- We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments.
- The first step is to know that your questions and feelings are normal.
- Fear of confronting past actions can lead to avoiding making amends altogether.
Through this process, you not only mend the connections that may have been strained by your addiction but also forge stronger bonds founded on honesty, integrity, and accountability. It’s essential to be thoughtful and considerate in your approach. Making direct amends means actively confronting your behavior with the person who you harmed. In some cases, simply opening up a conversation with a friend or family member about your history of alcohol use can begin the process of making amends.
When choosing to make amends, exercise careful consideration of yourself and others to ensure you avoid causing further harm in your recovery efforts. Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends. If approaching the other person opens up old wounds or re-traumatizes them, making amends isn’t advisable.
A full continuum of care treating addiction and mental health through an evidence-based approach, relapse prevention, and holistic healing with beach activities. A few months back, she was traveling for an extended period of time. Well, the time came to continue my living amends to her and redo her entire master suite, including her bathroom. She came home to what she described as “a completely different house”. My living amends to my mother is to be fully present in my life so I can be fully present in hers. Your donation will provide a scholarship to someone in recovery, supporting them through the first few months of sober living in one of our partner organizations.